The talented doctors and researchers at the University of Miami medical school may eventually be the first team to come up with a cure for paralysis.
When and if they do, the first patient they should treat immediately should be the University of Miami football team's entire offense.
Paralyzed and nearly comatose for over four weeks now due to a failed offensive system, poor play calling by the offensive coordinator and at times horrible execution by the players, the UM offense has been, well for lack of a better term, offensive.
Last year any team with a similarly ineffective offense simply had to find Miami on their schedule on any given week to be cured and get well against the weak and generous Hurricanes defense.
This year any team with a defense that has looked dazed and confused on the field early this season simply has to look ahead to facing the UM offense to get cured from whatever malaise may have affected them in previous weeks.
Yesterday, your Miami Hurricanes fell behind early to Notre Dame but in the second half managed to mount what seemed to be at the time just the type of comeback that they and their fans had been waiting for.
UM QB Brad "I Ain't That Bad" Kaaya threw the ball accurately, the receivers actually caught he ball consistently and the 'Canes tied the dreaded little leprechauns late in the fourth quarter. But once again it was not to be as the Hurricanes went back to conservative play calling, punted and proceeded to get scored on by the Irish.'
Miami had one more chance to win the game but then Brad "I Know This Is Sad" Kaaya did what everyone in the entire stadium, all of those watching at home and even those playing in pee wee football leagues knew he simply could NOT do: he took a sack with 13 seconds left instead of throwing the ball away.
Then we watched helplessly as the time ran out and the Hurricanes lost to a 2-5 team they probably should have beaten on any given Saturday.
So according to most fans here on the blog, here is what we think we know about the Miami Hurricane football team in 2016:
- The UM defense has shown a huge improvement over last year.
- The UM offense has shown a huge regression over last year.
- Hurricanes offensive line has more holes in it than Swiss cheese.
- The offensive line coach should be fired.
- The offensive coordinator should be fired.
- According to some it's going to take at least two more years, and two recruiting classes, to fix the issues if they ever get fixed at all.
- It is almost undeniable now that the bottom line is that the results this year are no better under the new head coach than they probably would have been under the last head coach.
- UM fans that were highly motivated by the hiring of the new head coach have once again lost their mojo and many have simply resorted back to being "casual fans" as the pain from losing has grown too great to bare halfway through another lost college football season.
So now we sit and we wait to see how this team, and their new head coach, choose to finish out the year.
ACC title dreams now shattered, the goal now is to play for six wins and a bowl game and the extra month of practice it brings. From the looks of things, it sure looks like the Hurricanes could use it.