Our highly trained research team has finally determined what is causing that wretched, stinking, burning smell that has been covering most of Florida lately. Our researchers have even managed to pinpoint the exact source of the noxious smoke.
Maybe not so surprising to college football fans our team of undercover agents have determined that the foul odor is emanating from Tallahassee. Yes, that stench you that smell is the burning wreckage of the Florida State University football program.
First, there was the academic cheating scandal that rocked the fine educational institution located in our State Capitol. Somehow test answers found their way into the welcome arms and greedy little hands of numerous athletes at FSU who competed in several different sports for the Seminoles.
I mean why waste time going to class or studying when you can waltz through some classes as if you were never even there? Apparently, the rules are a bit different when it comes to athletes or winning games at FSU.
Then there was the politically incorrect little issue of running one of the longest tenured and most well liked and respected coaches right out if town in favor of another coach named, and I am not making this up, Jimbo. How do you hire a head coach named "Jimbo". Seriously?
Bobby Bowden was treated like a red headed step child and was then shown the door before he could have any chance at passing old Joe Pa at Penn State as the college football coach with the most all-time wins. That was right before he was thrown into the already smoldering fire by the Seminole boosters before the season even ended.
When it was over, in an interview, coach Bowden had this to say:
Bobby Bowden said Tuesday that while he wanted to coach another year at Florida State, but "that was out" as an option. Bowden announced his retirement Dec. 1 -- a day after expressing a desire to coach in 2010 during a meeting with university officials.
"I wanted to, but that was out," he told The Associated Press as he motored his golf cart onto Florida State's practice field for the final time Tuesday. "I'm disappointed, but that wears off."
Jimbo Fisher will officially become FSU's new coach on Jan. 5. Regardless of the unceremonious ending to his 34 years at Florida State, Bowden said he has no regrets or hard feelings.
"No regrets whatsoever with the whole picture, big picture," the 80-year-old coach said. "I look at it for the 56 years, not what happened last year or the last four years or five years."
Now we have the unfortunate and controversial report by ESPN's Inside The Lines program about an unusually high percentage of FSU football players being labeled as "learning disabled". Brenda Monk a former FSU employee said in her interview that when she showed up on campus there were maybe 20-25 Seminole athletes labeled as learning disabled. That changed significantly over the last 3-5 years. By the time Monk left she claims there were over 65.
Here is what the ESPN report said: "That's where Monk set up camp, working on papers and other assignments with what she estimates were about 65 learning disabled athletes. She tells "Outside the Lines" that more than a third of the football team, and three-quarters of the basketball team, had learning disabilities. FSU spokesman Rob Wilson did not respond to requests by "Outside the Lines" for information on the number of learning disabled athletes who were in the program when Monk left.
By comparison, experts estimate that 5 to 10 percent of the general adult population has a learning disability.
Fred Rouse, a former Seminoles receiver, attributes the prevalence of learning disabled athletes to an awareness of the resources available to those with such a diagnosis. He says some players are just lazy and looking for someone else to do their academic work.
"I think it's bull----," says Rouse, who started as a freshman in 2006. "You [as a high school athlete] have all of this time to prepare [academically] before you get to this level, and then when you get here, you play this punk role as, you know, 'I have a learning disability,' when that's not the case."
Some athletes arrived in Tallahassee with such a diagnosis, from psycho-educational evaluations conducted when they were in high school or earlier. Others, as many as 20 per year who were identified as academically at-risk, were referred by Monk after they arrived on campus to Casey Schmidt, a licensed psychologist based in Tallahassee. Schmidt evaluates these athletes for learning disabilities and is paid $800 by the athletic department for each test.
About 80 percent of the FSU athletes sent to him receive a learning disabled diagnosis, says Schmidt, who was hired after Monk arrived on campus.
Well, according to Raycom FSU Blogger Andrew Brady the story goes even deeper with the University getting involved to try to stop the program from ever being aired. His report reads like this:
"On Friday evening, FSU employees, boosters and students were sent an email from FSU athletic director, Randy Spetman. The email documented the University’s efforts to halt the broadcast of an ESPN Outside the Lines episode that focused on FSU admitting substandard and learning disabled students to play football. The episode, titled “The Story Behind the Florida State Academics Scandal” did air on Sunday, December 13th, but not on my television. Spetman’s email described how Gator-graduate Tom Farrey interviewed disgruntled and axed-employee Brenda Monk about FSU policies, and if anything was unusual or shaky about the students that were admitted, and that she tutored."
And all of this still does not address the fact FSU's Graduations Success Rate (GSR) and Academic Progress Report (APR) performance and stats are well below the NCAA national and state averages. These two annual NCAA reports measure each academic institution's performance against the national average and their competitors. Well here are the FACTS:
Among the big three schools the GSR statistics are: UM 75%, UF 73% and FSU 69%.
When it comes to the Academic Progress Report stats specifically for the football programs it only gets worse for the Seminole student-athletes. Here are the ugly, smelly, stinking facts of the matter:
The national APR average over four years is 939. In 2009 FSU registered a score of 932, seven points BELOW the national average.
Even the lowly, cold-blooded reptiles from Gainesville scored 31 points higher than that at 963.
Your University of Miami Hurricanes scored the highest ranking at 977 thank U very much!
So, has any lesson been learned? Obviously not. High profile recruits like LB Jeff Luc and DB Lemarcus Joyner continue to commit to and sign with the Seminoles. This in spite of a tumultuous 6-6 season of discontent in Tallahassee that included three losses to teams from Florida: Miami, USF and UF.
Bobby Bowden's official going away party will be held on January 1, 2010 at the Gator Bowl in Jacksonville as the 'Noles were somehow magically invited to this relatively significant bowl game in spite of their mediocre season record.
Apparently Bowden likes to receive gifts just as much as he liked to give them to incoming recruits.
Hey, do U smell that? Yeah, me too...